The Day I Lost My Admission To UCLA..

I was waiting to tell this story when I finally graduate university in May so you know, it can seem like I made it and I have my life together and now I can teach ya'll my brilliant life lessons and blah blah blah.. but no. I am writing this story and sharing it in the midst of my journey through college. I want to tell you the story of the time I lost my admission to UCLA, fell back into my depression and then essentially got to where I am now.

* This is a long one, if you actually read everything.. I love you & you are awesome haha*

First off, just a heads up if you know that you are not good at science and math. PLEASE do not take both at the same time. I am not a science or math person at all so you can say taking Chemistry and Calculus at the same time was the worst decision ever. I was in my last semester at community college or what was suppose to be my last semester. I had gone into this semester with a 3.4 gpa, my personal statement had been revised over 5 times and my experiences/ community services were well listed. I guess I could say that I was really proud of my applications and I knew that I had to get into at least one or two schools, but for now I was playing the waiting game. In the mean time I was struggling with my three classes while also being  a part of the leadership team that oversaw all the clubs on campus and this was a position that I was proud of and wasn't ready to step down from.    

As the semester progressed I started receiving acceptances from Cal State LA, Cal State Northridge, Uc Merced, Uc Riverside, Uc Santa Cruz... even my top college UCLA. I was ecstatic as you could probably imagine. Obviously, I put in my agreement to be a UCLA student right off the spot, but this admission was contingent on whether I pass my last three classes that I was taking at the time. I posted it every where as you could probably guess, facebook, twitter, snapchat.. I couldn't believe I had been admitted to UCLA, this big school that I viewed was far above my potential.  For any student this if anything should of been enough motivation for me to put my extracurricular activities on hold and instead use that time to get tutoring for my classes. Although I would go to tutoring, the several volunteer opportunities, meetings, and off campus retreats would take up all of my time. Nevertheless, I was not ready to give up my position. My parents were fully aware that I was close to failing my classes and made me promise that I would put a hold on everything else, but I was so involved in school activities and did not want to let my team down that sometimes I would pretend to go to tutoring when really I was at a on campus activity session.

As probably predicted I ended up not passing my classes, and I was devastated.  I knew the truth and I knew that I was putting other obligations over my studies, I allowed that disappointment and my shame to take over and become overwhelming. I think it is one thing to look back at a disappointment and realize your mistake, feel bad for awhile and then find a way to bounce back, but to let that disappointment turn into shame that essentially starts eating you alive is not healthy at all. Essentially I ended up going back to my community college for one more semester and reapplied to a cal state school and ended up transferring there. At this point in my life I am now getting ready to graduate and I love the school that I am in and the friends that I have made. Yes, I lost the opportunity to attend a very well named school but I think it is amazing what I have learned and the journey God has led me on these past four and a half years in college. Graduation Here I Come. 

So maybe you are a college student and are experiencing the same situation I did, or maybe not as extreme or maybe you are being a lot more smarter than I was and you have your priorities straight (lol) either way I wrote this post to encourage all of you that college/ young adulthood is definitely a journey. It is trial and error, sometimes you get it right and sometimes you get it wrong.. that is okay. The most important thing through your college experiences is that you continue to learn from your mistakes, understanding yourself and the load you can and cannot handle. But overall never giving up. A friend of mine posted a quote on twitter that said

And I couldn't have said it better myself.

Can you relate? Do you have a college related story that has made you the confident person you are now? Lets share in the comments!

Nikki O.


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