I Hate Having A Crush.. Pt 2
Remember last year, when I wrote about a huge crush I had on a guy friend that I had a class with? Well, I got the guts to ask him to have lunch with me one on one this past week and now I am going to tell you how it all went down.. (lol) this is going to be quit the story so if you are interested than you are in for a ride.
Okay so if you haven't read my hopeless romantic, desperately in agonizing love post called I Hate Having A Crush" then stop and go read it so you can have a better gist of where I am coming from.
The guy I like is back from Italy.
Well he has been back since last year during Christmas break. When school started again this past January I remember constantly keeping up to date with his snap chats trying to see whether he would be anywhere on campus ( #desperate). I truly believe all my friends and their grandparents at this point know I like this particular guy except this particular guy. If you didn't know, you know now that as much as I hate to admit it, I will talk to almost everyone about a guy that I am falling head over heels for, so that's basically what I have been doing for the past year. --- By the way we are going to name my crush "JJ" -----
I ran into JJ around February and him and I had like small talk, we talked about his trip and he was encouraging me to consider studying abroad as well which is what I have been wanting to do for a long time. Then a couple of weeks past by and during those weeks I would swoon every time JJ would make any type of small interaction with me or like my Instagram pictures or watch my snap chats. Until one day this month two of my friends who I have been chattering to about JJ said that I needed to hang out with him one on one. Obviously I was way to scared to message him, so my friend took my phone, sent the message " Do you want to grab lunch tomorrow?" and that is when all hell broke loose!
As you can imagine I was SO NERVOUS. It wasn't like the "I have a class presentation I didn't prepare that much" nervous, it was the "I'm about to go super fast down this rollercoaster I hope this seatbelt was put on me tightly my stomach is gone" nervous. I didn't have his number so this was all through snap chat so I was already thinking how odd that must be, then it took him like a good 30 minutes to finally open the message and reply which drove me even more crazy lol. After we planned a day and time I kid you not I spent the rest of the day in pure "OH MY GOSH WHAT AM I DOING" mode. I honestly built the whole thing up in my head. ( but who wouldn't right?).
So the day finally came, I finished class and him and I planned to meet at 2pm. We met around 2:10pm and started walking to a food court across the street from our school. The walk was chill, we were talking about our plans for spring break, he cracked jokes about his relationship with food so the walk was cool. Then we actually came to a place we wanted to eat at and ordered food and honestly without going into detail about our conversation, I can describe how I was in one word AWKWARD. Its like I had forgotten how to feed myself, how to talk, what my name was etc etc.
JJ is so good at having a conversation like I could listen to him talk about his life all day, but you know at some point he had to stop and allow me to talk and I just felt like everything that came out of my mouth was lame, stupid, or yeah.. lame.
Overall, I am glad I went out of my comfort zone, I don't think he is necessarily interested in pursuing a relationship with anyone especially since he is graduating and plans to travel a lot, but I can officially say I hung out with the guy I like even if I did come off awkward and embarrassing.. ( like, my jokes were SO lame embarrassing.. ).
Moral of the story? Go for it I guess, people are actually nicer than you may think. I really thought he would be turned off by the idea of hanging out with me, I don't know why, but he actually was down to grab lunch. So, I guess that was something I was really happy about.
Gosh, having a crush is literally a mental and emotional roller coaster. Have you experienced a awkward first hang out with your crush? Are awkward first hangouts good? or should they be avoided at all costs? Let me know in the comments! like literally, help ya girl out here (lol).