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Showing posts from 2018

I'm. Done. Writing. 2018.

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So this is really difficult.

I'm not going to be updating this blog for awhile, at least not for the rest of this year. There is a lot I need to focus on when it comes to myself, my career, and just my overall life. I also feel kind of inadequate to have this blog, this was a place for me to express myself, as well as share some of my experiences as a young adult and the lessons I am learning.. but I feel like a hypocrite. It's like who am I to share life lessons and advice if I don't even have my own life together. Right?

I guess I do not know what to grab a hold of at this point.. the idea that you do not have to have it all figured out to be an encouragement to people OR you have to wait and be established in order for your story and words to have real meaning. I'm confused.

My blog was overall pushing the message that you can share your story even in the midst of the storm, you can still be a light and be the reason someone doesn't give up even if your life is…

The Conversation of Mental Health/Wellness In Our K-12 Programs: A Wake Up Call.

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I am sure we all can remember that one teacher or supervisor from middle school, high school or elementary school that we catered to a majority of the time.

That person gave you the time of day outside academics and class schedules, was your cheerleader when it came to breakdowns and doubts. I'm talking about that staff member that let you eat lunch with them when your friends abandoned you. Anyone ring a bell?





 For me it is my high school academic counselor. If you follow me on Instagram you may have seen a post I wrote that was dedicated to her and thanking her for all the support and encouragement she gave me. Without her constant support and willingness to put aside time to give me pep talks during my emotional breakdowns, I do not know whether I would be alive today. She is a prime example of what it means to make a major impact on a student's life. I only hope many teachers can learn from her and her impressionable actions.

Essentially this all got me thinking.. do all…

Mental illness has no face...

I'm not a poet by any means, honestly alot of the poems I write is word vomit that keeps circling in my head.. here is a poem I wrote that has been in my drafts for awhile. Can you relate? ...







Mental illness has no face

and that is what is scary about its pace
you never truly know how the person sitting next to you is
they can tell you I am great I am fine
in three hours they are in the hospital because of their mind

Mental illness has no face

It eats you alive
It doesn't discriminate
It doesn't care whether you are black or white
Educated or not
Financially stable or not
It will still come when you have both parents in your life
Even when all things seem just right

Mental illness has no face

It comes and chases all your joy
decides to crush your peace
Your motivation at a all time low
No equilibrium in our body
And so your confused.. do I go fast or slow
Instead your in circles and so is your soul

Mental illness has no face...

But does that mean you can not win?
Does that…

Social Media's Affect On Your Mental Health

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I watched a Ted Talk called IsSocial Media Hurting Your Mental Health"and the speaker introduced 4 common stressors of social media that can become full blown mental health issues if not checked and taken accounted of, so for this post I thought I would share them with you:




Highlight Reel

The best and proudest moments displayed for all to see. That is basically social media for us; it is our peers and the influencers we look up to giving us a glimpse of the best parts of their day. Due to the fact that we live in a culture where young teen and adults are trapped in this cycle of comparison, we are constantly " comparing our behind-the-scenes with someone else's highlight reel" .

We forget that your friend's snapchat story may look fun as she is spending more time with her boyfriend, but that is what she may choose to show snapchat. Because of course, who really wants to display the hardships and annoying moments with everyone right? You just never know what some…

You Have To Become Tougher.. Not Meaner. Tougher.

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About two weeks ago one of the girls that lives at the group home I work at currently, lashed out at me. From then on her and another teen girl have started becoming distant and passive towards me. Now obviously this is to be expected at a group home. When you work in this kind of field your clients are not going to be warm to you all the time, because they come with behavioral and family issues. 

Although, I remember becoming really frustrated. I started thinking to myself "gosh, I am doing my job and I am there to support these girls but at the end of the day they can easily flip things around and give me the middle finger". This idea annoyed me and actually gave me some anxiety. I became kind of stuck between several thoughts and opinions, such as maybe this field isn't for me? Maybe I am to sensitive. The field of Social Services, Mental Health in terms of youth and young adolescents can be so challenging. Alot of the advice I was getting from my senior staff at my …

LIFE UPDATE. School/Work/Family Trip and more...

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So where in the world have I been?!




 Last time I wrote a post was in early September. I was scrolling through my blog and whispered to myself "I miss this". To be completely honest with you and myself though, I didn't have the motivation and I lacked writing inspiration.

 It got to a point where I felt like I was wasting my time, I would put out a post and it felt like the time I spent writing it was not matched with the people if any, that would read it. That has never been something I cared about much, but I guess as I write more and more I have realized I don't just want to be writing for myself, I want to be writing for others. That has always been at the back of my mind. 

There has also been a lot going on in which I have not had time to just sit and write, so the fact that I am writing right now is a breathe of fresh air. So, here is a little life update for you all!




SCHOOL

If you follow me on Instagram you know that I graduated and walked in my school's ce…

What Are The Experiences That Have Formed YOU?

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My name is Nicole Opara, I am a 23 year old with a loud laugh and a huge appetite( did someone say Panda Express?).  I truly believe Fried Ice Cream from The Roll heals a broken heart. I want to travel to all the places Jesus and his disciples walked and when I move out of my parents house I am getting a puppy. That's a fact.

  My name is Nicole and..  




School has always been so difficult for me and discouraging. But I think God has shown and continues to show his grace and patience towards me through it all.


I have had my first and second kiss and I am hoping the day I get my third will be with my husband.


I have always struggled to little to no confidence growing up and being teased and bullied didn't help much either.


My mind can not recollect how old I was or the dates of my suicide attempts. But I know they happened. I do remeber praying to God every time that I wouldn't wake up the next day.. Let's just say I am glad God doesn't answer ALL our prayers.…

(7) Things To Do To Maintain Your Mental Health While On Your Period

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It is that lovely time of the month, mother nature has decided to sh*t on you again huh? lol

 I do not know about you, but when it comes to my period not only am I experiencing unbearable cramps, lower back pain and a migraine that makes me want to pull my head off of my body. My emotional and mental health  can be out of whack as well. I believe that the way you choose to take care of yourself during your menstrual cycle is important not only for your physical health but your mental health .

As someone who struggles with depressive thoughts, I have to be mindful of my body and mind during my time of the month. With that being said, these are some of the things I do to maintain my mental health during my period..






Be okay with taking more than one break.

In other words take as many as you need! This is not the time to be overworking yourself because it just leads to frustration and exhaustion. When those two come together it is not fun, so do not be afraid to give yourself "you&q…

The Gift Black Student Organizations on Campus Gives Young Black Women...

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" I consider myself a crayon, I might not be your favorite color but one day you are going to need me to complete your picture" - Lauryn Hill 




Middle school I was told that I was to dark and that stuck with me. I'm to dark and if I am to dark I must be to ugly, to loud, to rebellious. These assumptions/ stereotypes started to get forced in my head and to be honest I was either  to black or not black enough.

Or I was..to skinny
My hair was to nappy
My lips were to big
my arms and legs looked like "burnt sticks".
And It became okay to mimic my so called "animal language"
I remember that joke like it was yesterday.
I was not respected by guys my age because I was the one with the "animal culture and language".

More and more I became inferior, and more and more I hated how I looked. Being black was ugly. Being a black women was ugly. I was ugly. At least that's what I thought...




 I transferred to CSUF and immediately was introduced to a sma…

I Confessed My Feelings To My Crush.. Now What?

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Hey Friends!

If you have been keeping up with my blog for awhile you know that a couple months ago I told my crush that I like him.. you can read about my love fest in these post (LOL) ...

I Hate Having A Crush Pt 1
I Hate Having A Crush Pt 2
I Hate Having A Crush Pt 3


With that background, you can better understand where I am coming at with this post.


  I feel like no one really addresses what's next. Okay so you told your crush everything, is your feelings suppose to magically disappear after that? It may seem like its not a big deal, its not like you were in a relationship. Nonetheless, these are emotions and feelings that are as much valid as if you were in a relationship and you both broke up.

I will say this, after telling "J" and receiving a respectful honest response from him I felt a HUGE relief. "J" and I talk once in awhile and are building a good friendship, which I am beyond blessed about.

But I will say this, I still smile when I see his pictures a…

(3) Songs That Has Been My 2018 Anthems

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The last time I posted was on the 14th.. It has been a good minute. How are all of you doing? I thought I would share with all of you (3) songs that have been my go to anthems this year and why.




Fall In Line ( Christina & Demi )

Talk about women empowerment
 I think it has been every Christina and Demi Lovato fan's dream that these two collaborate and sing a song together and this year it happened!! This song is so powerful in many ways and I truly believe every young girl growing into a young women should give this song a listen. 

Never Alone ( Tori Kelly ft Kirk Franklin )

Tori Kelly finally released new music!!! Her single Never Alone ft Kirk Franklin came out Friday and I am in love. I feel like it dropped at such a good time, the message behind it is what everyone needs to hear because whether you are a Christian or not.. you and I both know there is a sense of hopelessness in this world due to the recent suicides. People need to know there is hope, and his name is Jesus …

Dear LGBTQ Community, I'm Sorry. Love a Christian.

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What Demi Lovato's Overdose Has Taught Me..

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I remeber when I heard that Demi had been sober for 6 years, then a few weeks before that, I had watched her documentary and if I had not been a huge fan of hers before I was NOW. I was so inspired to see a celebrity around my age who was killing it with every soul in her being. I said to myself.. " If Demi can overcome her demons, then so can I"

When I heard about her overdose.. my heart sank.
 I remember praying " God, please do not take Demi away from us PLEASE" considering all the deaths we have had from well known celebrities, I could not bare the thought of her not surviving.



 I  started scrolling online and reading the news that was coming out about her overdose and the story behind it; how Demi had been surrounding herself with the wrong crowd and falling behind on her sobriety.

I was shocked, but then oddly it turned into a small frustration "No, not the Demi I know! She was doing so well.." as if she was suppose to have it all together. I almos…

BeBrave Story #11 : Ida Vaisanen - When Depression Stricks

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Happy August Everyone!

It is a new month which means a new #BeBrave story! Remeber, if you want to be brave and share YOUR story just email me at nickki.opara1@gmail.com

Today the fighter Ida Vaisanen, is sharing her journey through Depression ( TW: Suicide Is Discussed). I admire this girl and her transparency not only when she wrote this story but on Twitter and on her blog.

Thank you so much Ida for saying yes to sharing your journey through your mental illness and allowing us to read about the reality of what you go through everyday. With that being said, here is Ida's story(:





My life has definitely been divided into two, the time before and after I became ill.
Like with any illness, it's difficult to pinpoint a time where it began. When do cells decide to attack one another, what causes your white cells to begin to attack your own body as an enemy? Like any physical illness, I'm sure my illness lurked as a premonition in my cells for far longer than my mind ca…