Showing posts from October, 2017

Jumbled Thoughts // I Will Not Give Up, Neither Should You

Hey Friends,

I hope all of you have been doing well. Today was a pretty good day. My sister came home for the weekend, and my whole family and I went to church in the morning together which we haven't done in a long time. At service my pastor shared his testimony about his 3 year struggle with severe anxiety and how God has not only slowly healed him but has taught him a great deal of what it means to fix your gaze on Christ. It was a great service and I haven't felt moved to tears during service like the way I did today in a long time. I then treated my brother and sister out for breakfast which was fun, my siblings and I haven't really had quality time with each other because of the business of our schedules so it was nice to have that time together today. Then the rest of the day has been me attempting to study (lol). After service, I couldn't get my mind off of my own mental health, and wondering how God plans to use my up and down journey to pull me into a more …

How To Relieve Work Related Anxiety

I didn't go to work again tonight. I called off very last minute again, and I am pretty sure there is just a matter of time until I get fired.

Sorry, I don't mean to start this post so depressing like this, but I will be completely honest with all of you because I believe all of you are my friends.. I feel like I wouldn't care if I were to loose my job or drop out of school at this point. Honestly I feel like I am in this endless cycle of failing, getting back up, failing, getting back up. I'm exhausted. Plus I am tired of this anxiety I get before work as well, its frustrating being at work and feeling incapable or as if you are not doing anything right.

The point of this post is not to complain to you all about how miserable my life is, I think it is my depression talking.  I'm actually here to share with you all about the ways in which I am trying to deal with this anxiety. I have been working at my new job for a good four to five months and I still get that d…

Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover / The Most Confident Girls Struggle Too..

Tuesday October 10th was World Mental Health Day.

For those of you who may not know what that is, it is a day used to bring awareness to the different debilitating mental illnesses. I appreciate the different days like suicide awareness day, that are used to bring awareness and attention to Mental illness. Not only do I love the awareness part of it but it is comforting to see how many people open up on social media about their own struggles in order to encourage many and remind others that there is hope and people that care.

I was scrolling through my Instagram on Tuesday night and I was amazed of my peers who spoke up and even some who I never even considered to care about this sort of thing were on Instagram being an encouragement. While I was scrolling through my Instagram there was this one girl who I went to high school with that posted about how she has been struggling with anxiety and depression lately to the point where she didn't even want to get out of bed. But then sh…

" Fear Not.." Have Peace In The Midst Of Chaos

I woke up on Monday morning after a rough Sunday night reciting to myself, "its a new day" "yesterday was the past" "focus on the present". As I was hyping myself up in the bathroom in front of the mirror I picked up my phone and started scrolling through Instagram. Suddenly I started seeing post after post "pray for Vegas" "RIP to the 58 people killed in Vegas" "What's wrong with our country, such a tragedy" I was confused for a second and totally oblivious, so I searched up Las Vegas to see what all the condolesences was about. That is when I saw the news.. "Shooting at Las Vegas Concert Last Night; 58 killed & hundreds injured" The first thing I said to myself was Dear God, didn't we just have a natural disaster hit Puerto Rico? How much more tragedy can this world take?"

I started to feel a sense of fear crawl on me, it wasn't like that small anxiety you get when you are about to start a n…