Failing Over & Over. Is There Hope?




 I'm inside my car as it is parked in the parking lot of my church. I told my sister and brother to go ahead while I stay behind . I decided to stay in the car to write this...

Whatever it is that I am writing, not really sure yet.. But let's see where this takes me yeah? 


My Prayer Last night: 

" Dear God, 
I'm a continued mess & failure. I haven't achieved anything, I'm flunking every class. I'm literally just taking up space at home and I have no idea what my purpose is. I'm going to sleep, Please. Do. Not. Wake. Me. Up." 

Not the most happiest prayer... 

So what do you do when you feel like a continued failure? When it is coming to the point where your parents are saying...

"You are disgracing the family" 
"I'm really disappointed in you" 
"What kind of person are you" 
" You are just taken up space" 
" Why don't you have common sense?" 
"You haven't achieved anything" 

I do not know, I feel like I am suppose to have some type of brilliant, eye opening response.. But all I can say is if you prayed a prayer similar to what I prayed last night and you are still here, well then... You must still have a purpose and I truly believe God is not finished with us yet. 

For the people who are in university and still struggling with grades or maybe you have forgotten why you are pursuing that dream career you always wanted but with the slightest fear that you might just drop out... Stay. 

There is always a reason for why someone is continuously getting the same unsettling results in any situation.

 So Breathe. Stay Alive. Retrace & figure out the habits that are slowing you down. You are going to get fusterated in the process of changing.. Very frustrated with yourself. And people the people closest to you might get fusterated with you too because they may not be seeing changes right away like they'd like too. But take it step by step, the progress you want will come.

 You do have something valuable to contribute to this world, if you stick around long enough you will find it. 

I'm literally talking to myself as I write this, I guess it's just a matter of me believing it for myself..

Do you believe it for your own self? 


Nikki O. 



Comments

  1. Awww, I'm sorry you're feeling so down on yourself! All I can tell you is something my dad always says to me: 'no one is a failure who has friends.' It's a Wonderful Life is his favorite movie 😂. But it's true: you matter to the people that love you not because of what you do, but because of who you are.

    Xoxo
    Emily
    emilyhallock.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you so much Emily I really needed to hear that! 😁

    ReplyDelete
  3. Such a lovely post! Wish you all the best :)
    writingclaud.com

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  4. This is a very good way of looking at things. God has a plan and a purpose for us all, even though it might not be an obvious one. You've touched my life and I'm very glad you woke up. Xx

    Tania | When Tania Talks

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    Replies
    1. I really appreciate this comment Tania, thank you so much! :)

      Nikki O.

      Delete

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